Friday, September 9, 2011

Don't Look Back

The Afters have a song called "Never Going Back To O.k." The song talks about how life the way it was was just OK. Now there is a new resolve within myself to not go back to how it was EVEN THOUGH there is pain and loneliness when I am thinking of the loss. There is hurt when you separate yourself from bad choices that use to make you feel good. No matter what there will be a time of mourning the loss of people that you care about. I won't lie. It feels like a knife is cutting a way at my heart sometimes. It is drastic surgery, but I believe it is a needed surgery of the heart and God is working daily. I talk to myself: Be strong in Him. All of the physical and emotional relationships that I have cultivated over the years that were not for His glory are not as important as God is in my life. I cannot go back to the way it was. There is a new day and it is today. All the choices I have made, whether they hurt at times or not.. I cannot see myself in yesterday. Those past relationships did not keep me grounded in Him and my choices were based on selfishness.

In selfishness I made many decisions that hurt so many people including my family. I cannot take it back. But I do not have to go back and cause others pain again. There is a man in the Bible names Jabez. While it does not mention a lot about him (in fact only 2 verses)The lesson in his life is very clear.1 Chronicles 4:9
And Jabez was more honorable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10. And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldst bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldst keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested

#1. He was more honorable than his brethren.
#2. He prayed that God would do several things for him
a.)that God would bless him
b.)that God would enlarge his territory (the people and places that he had influence on)
c.)that God would be with him
d.)God would keep him from evil
e.)that he would not cause pain
#3. God granted him these things.
It says in the first verse: Because he was more HONORABLE.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement in following the Lord and His will in my life. I pray that I will be more honorable. I have not been honorable in my walk in the past and I'm never going back to OK.

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